"You always break my stuff!"
"If you don't play pirates I'm not going to be your friend anymore."
"Loser"
I know you hear phrases like these all the time. I definitely do.
Love Bank
Dr. John Gottman, marriage and parenting expert talks about a concept called an emotional bank account. I'm just going to say, love bank.
It's the idea that at the center of any relationship there's a piggy bank. We make deposits into it through positive interactions that build connection and withdrawals during negative interactions that strain the two people's connection. Dr. Gottman uses this metaphor with married couples. But I often think of it during daily interactions with kids.
Read moreLet Kids Save Face
Some kids hear their names a lot. I recall a little guy in a childcare center who heard his name all day. "Sam, come down from there! Sam, walk please. Sam, stop it!" Sam had a hard time following the rules. His behavior and his attitude chipped away at the patience of us childcare providers. He needed lots of reminders. We started resenting that - resenting him.
I think now about how he must have felt hearing his name shouted across the room.
Read moreOne Small Change to Help Kids Build Emotional Intelligence
Do you hear kids saying, "my turn" when they want something someone else has? I hear it said in a friendly way, often even without grabbing for the object. Pretty quickly the object is handed over to the kid who called, "my turn." Awesome. I love it when kids use words their words and work things out themselves.
But something about the phrase has been bugging me lately.
Read moreEmpathy - Having It Oursleves
I was standing at the sink when the two year old came around the corner and asked for another cookie. I said no, he'd already had one. The tantrum ensued. He stomped and screeched, "I want another cookie!" After a few minutes without a response from me he just started saying, "I want sugar!"
It was annoying and I just wanted him to stop. Hadn't I just explained that he'd had one already? I mean, sheesh!
Read moreWhy Kids Can't Answer, "What's Wrong?"
Have you ever known a young child to cry, shriek, jump up and down, throw themselves on the floor? (Really, you have? Me too, go figure! ;)
Read more