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We nannies don't have to teach kids how to read, write or multiply fractions. Instead, we teach them to:
Make friends
Use their manners
Take the right risks
Become independent
Fix problems with words
Bounce back from failures
Stay calm when they're mad
Be creative, courageous and kind
Persevere in the face of a challenge
Follow directions but think for themselves, and
Everything else they need to know to become awesome adults
No problem, we got this. On one condition.
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The other day my daughter, Charlotte was drawing a picture of our family. Her three year old brother, Adam watched as she detailed a beautiful dress on the stick figure that was to be her. When she was done he said, "draw a dress on me!" Stunned, she turned to me and asked, "what do I do?"
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The little kids and I had just popped into the shop on the corner for organic doughnuts and I was sipping a latte. We were headed to the park where the big kids' field day was underway. It was the last day of school. A spring in my step, baby on my back, sunshine on my face, songs streaming out, summer starts tomorrow kind of day. "It doesn't get better than this kids! Right now, this is the best."
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I just discovered Dr. Shefali Tsabary, psychologist and author of The Conscious Parent. I dare not write much about her teachings just yet as they're too deep to wrap my mind around without further study. But I can't stay quiet about her work because I believe it's a game changer for parents and nannies.
She says our primary job is to help kids express their inner spirit regardless of how different it is from ours. Our challenge is to let go of our wish for kids to be like us, even when (and here's the kicker) their inner spirit's expression is embarrassing or frustrating to us.
When we see these two girls approach the easel so differently, can we applaud them equally even if we identify with one more than the other? When we do, they will feel our support and their spirits will shine a little brighter.
There's way way more to what Dr. Shefali is laying down and much of it comes from Eastern philosophy. I am eager to read her book and learn how to drop my ego to support the free and full development of my charges. No small task...I hope she's got some tips...I'll let you know.
I am a firm believer that our most powerful tool as nannies is modeling. Modeling kindness is at the tippy top of my list of ways to teach kids compassion. But I hadn't heard many practical tips to help us destress when our nerves are frayed so we CAN model kindness - until this week.
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Most sunny days I like to pick up the bigger kids from school on foot. It's nice for them to decompress in the fresh air before starting homework. The only challenge is, walking home takes forever.
They want to touch flowers, hunt for perfect sticks, squabble about who gets to ride in the stroller, pet their favorite neighborhood cat and on and on.
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Today I feel in over my head. Like the job of raising kids is too big. Like the lessons I think I'm teaching aren't sinking in. Like my mistakes outweigh my successes. And maybe everybody knows it.
Read moreSeattle, WA